Dear Space Pen,
Although I love you dearly, I believe it is time for us to start seeing others. You have a beautiful body, which is what initially attracted me to you. Your compact, sleek form that elongates into a full-sized pen is absolutely amazing. As the initial lust for your form-factor is wearing off, I am coming to the realization that it is the stuff on the inside that really counts. This is, unfortunately, your ugly side. Even though you have a fancy pressurized-gas ink cartridge that can write upside-down, under water, through butter, or in zero gravity, at your heart you are truly just another ballpoint pen, with all of the baggage that goes along with that. I have very little need to be writing while dangling upside-down from a cliff or while snorkeling. I have every need to write in smooth, consistent, dark strokes. At this, you fail. Your ink comes out unevenly. Recently, you have taken to initially releasing large gobs of ink before being able to write. Not only are these drips of ink unsightly, they are sticky and stain hands, pockets, and other papers.
I have tried my best to make things work. I tried changing my writing style to better account for your uneven lines. I tried searching far and wide for a rollerball or gel ink cartridge that fits your body. I even investigated modifying ink cartridges for other pens to fit you. In the end, though, nothing worked and all I am left with is a beautiful pen and inkstained fingers.
Very soon, a Cross Ion telescoping pen will arrive. I do not want you to be fearful or resentful. I just want you to understand that the Cross will provide more of what I need.