“Your door is…evil.”

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It seems the programmers at Delicious Monster have a sense of humor. Their sense of humor just scared the living bajeesus out of me just a second ago. You see, their program lets me grab a DVD off the shelf and hold the barcode up to the webcam. At that point, little magic gnomes in the computer convert that picture to an ISBN and hit Amazon. The magic computer gnomes then make the computer speak aloud in a mechanical female voice the name of the DVD (or “lookup failed”) so you do not have to take your eyes from the screen. The past half hour, I have been hearing the “your door is ajar” lady mangle the pronunciation of things like “Good.Will.Hunt.Ing” and “TheFlyTheFlyTwo.” When I scanned in the Harry Potter DVD, I was not prepared for the sinister and mechanical male whisper of “Voldemort.” This was in stark contrast to the rhythm I had been working on with the “door is ajar” lady and it quite literally caused my heart to jump into my throat. If those Delicious Monster guys are reading this: GOOD ONE!

In other news of evildoers, I got an email from Lemony Snicket’s people telling me that Count Olaf has a new website.

Update: It turns out that I have a few DVDs. Four hundred ten titles, specifically. I am hesitant to tackle the Wall O’ Books without the wireless Bluetooth barcode scanner.

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