World’s Greatest LIAR!

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I was driving home from work today, after a long day of undocumented accounting software. (“What is our policy on precision and rounding? Do I round up, down, chop off the extra digits? Do I work out all the math to 2 decimal places, or should I be going more?” “I don’t know. Just make something up. As long as all the bottom lines work out.”) On this drive, I noticed a license plate frame, “World’s Greatest Boss,” and thought to myself.

Now, I’ve had a few of the world’s greatest bosses in my time (which is a feat, in and of itself, considering that the term “greatest” implies singularly the best, with nobody better). I never really felt the urge to give any of them a license plate frame. In fact, I would go so far as to think they would be offended by a “World’s Greatest Boss” license plate frame. I continued to think about who would think giving the gift a good idea and who would think receiving it a good idea. The only situation in which I could see this arise is with an overbearing boss that nobody likes, and one or more employees who have enough shame to close their eyes and plant a big brown kiss on the boss’s sphincter. Obviously, not the world’s greatest boss. Obviously not the world’s most honest employee. But a little show and dance to make all the actors involved feel loved and wanted.

Posted in: Dear Diary Work

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