Fire Ants!

by Brian Enigma on September 15, 2001 12:00am

in Dear Diary

Let’s say you are big and strong.  Let’s say that there is a lit­tle pip­squeak that thinks they are big and strong.  They attack you.  You kick their ass.  You “went to war” with the pip­squeak.  The war had a spe­cific begin­ning, mid­dle, and end.  You know when you kicked the pipsqueak’s ass.

Let’s say you are big and strong.  Let’s say that that a colony of noc­tur­nal fire ants finds its way into your house in the mid­dle of the night and sting you silly.  You kill them off, but are not sure if there is still more out­side, in a colony.  You are not sure you have sealed off all of the entrances to your house that the ants could pos­si­bly use.  You are not sure you are safe.  This time, the war has a spe­cific begin­ning, a spe­cific bat­tle, but no dis­tinct end.  You have to go through a ton of secu­rity hassles…maybe a spe­cial front door that works like an air­lock, ensur­ing that only you, and no ants, get in…maybe you had to seal off all of your win­dows and install an air fil­tra­tion sys­tem, allow­ing you to breathe stale, taste­less air…maybe you sit up all night, watch­ing, pre­pared for another ant infestation…when does it end?  How far do you go to trade off con­ve­nience for secu­rity?  How do you know what to secure?  After all, the next attack might not be fire ants, it might killer bees.  They can fly–which you may not have taken into account when you set up your secu­rity measures. 

Where do you draw that line between “secure” and “too para­noid?”  Is that drawn line seen as rea­son­able and nec­es­sary for all occu­pants of the fire ant attacked house?

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