Always blindly follow chemistry instructions from the internet!

I have heard stories of the crazy neighbor that Connolly had when he lived in the apartment complex near Ladd’s, before buying a house. It now seems that the very same crazy neighbor was attempting to cook up, in the kitchen of the apartment, a hydrogen fuel cell using a modified pressure cooker filled with sodium, mercury, and powdered aluminum, by following instructions he downloaded from the internet. The result? Poisonous mercury vapors, a hazmat team in bunny suits (why are they called bunny suits?), neighbors having to pay $5000 in treatments and drugs to counteract the mercury poisoning. Oh, and everyone’s personal belongings are now considered poisoned/hazardous and have been confiscated, to be destroyed — their clothes, stereos, computers, beds, everything. Everyone in the complex is now homeless, without possessions, paying for medical treatments, and (I would presume) angry.

Posted in: Dear Diary Portland

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