“Fill this cup.” “Can I choose what to fill it with?”

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Assuming the background check and drug test go fine (and I do not know why there would be any problem), I start my new job two weeks from Monday. The drug test was certainly a “guilty until proven innocent” type of situation. The last time I had to do something like that was in the late 80's for Radio Shack and it was a pretty laid back type of situation. “Here is a cup, there is the bathroom, fill it.” I am not sure if it is because the world has changed or because I live in the filthy-dope-smokin'-hippy capital of the world, but this drug test was very different. “Fill out these miles of paperwork, empty your pockets into this strongbox, wash your hands first, fill the cup but DO NOT flush the toilet, wash your hands again, wait while the thermometer built in to the pee cup registers body temperature, wait while I examine the bathroom for clues and paraphernalia, initial here.” Toward the end when the nurse was finalizing the lab paperwork, she commented in a rather accusatory tone that my urine seemed a little thick. Huh? What the heck am I supposed to say to that? “Uhhh…sorry, I'll try to make the next batch a little better?” “I guess I haven't been drinking enough water.” “It's not the viscosity, it's how you use it.” “It looks fine to me.” I figured the best answer was to just stare blankly in confusion and not say anything. I am pretty good at that, you know. I do not look at other people's pee all day (thank goodness), so do not know (or care) how I compare to the rest of the world in that department.

Anyway, once I get home (and away from the noise of this internet coffee shop), I get the fun of calling up work and putting in my two weeks and calling up the other place and letting them know I accepted a different offer.

It has been a week since I last saw Kim, but it feels like months. The whole lack of phone plus sporadic email makes me feel incredibly disconnected.

Posted in: Dear Diary Work

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