The modernized H.G. Wells “Time Machine” is craptastically bad

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So, I got both versions of Solaris from Netflix the other day. The 2002 George Clooney version was surprisingly good. This might be because my expectations were so low that a time-lapse film of paint drying would have seemed good. They managed to maintain an actual drama and romance without leaning too heavily on the sci-fi aspect of the situation. The 1972 Tarkovsky version…ehhhh…not so much. Maybe I was not in the proper mood, maybe I just don't “get” Tarkovsky's work, but it seemed to drag on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on. Surprisingly, the two films seemed to both show the exact same story. The 2002 version did not run off on any Hollywood-ized tangents or rewrites. I have not read Lem's original story, but have read some of his other work. Both versions seem to keep with his style, so I cannot accurately say which version stuck to the book better.

More Diebold ATMs need to run Windows XP. Fewer Diebold voting machines need to run Windows XP. I do not expect ATMs to be be playing Talking Heads while running trippy full-screen music visualizations, thank you. Or if they do, they must be spitting out free money at the same time.

So the question of “which actor would play you in a story of your life” thing came up the other day. Kate and I actually talked about this before. It seems some version of Jeff Goldblum might play me: something in between the dorky and awkward guy in Independence day, the dorky and awkward guy in Buckaroo Banzai, and the dorky, awkward, and mulleted guy in The Fly–perhaps with a twist of the Jurassic Park dorky, awkward, and nervous guy thrown in. It was suggested to me that one of The Lone Gunmen would work, too. I guess the hair more accurately matches…which reminds me. I have about 6 inches of brown/dirty-blondish roots that have grown in, that I need to figure out what to do with. I have always been fond of purple, myself, but colors more in the red and burgundy range tend to last longer since I really do not want to start messing with bleach again.
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Posted in: Movies

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