Plumper Lips

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I just got spam telling me “kiss your thin ordinary lip's [sic] goodbye! Get PLUMPER Lip's [sic].” I find this funny on many levels.

Let us play a little game of compare and contrast…

Lunch or dinner at my parents: “So Brian, do you have business cards at your job yet? It has been over a year, and you should have cards by now” Me: unable to explain my theory (which is shared with substitute) that as soon as I get business cards the company goes under. This comment would make my parents chuckle nervously in non-understanding.

Lunch or dinner at Kate's parents: “Obi Wan Kenobi LOVED the COCK! Yeah, he smoked pole!”

Lunch or dinner at my parents: “<guilt mode=enabled>You never call. We never hear from you. You never return our calls. Why don't you call?”

Lunch or dinner at Kate's parents: “Yeah, she hopped on the dyke boat long ago.”

Yeah, so with my parents, it is like tiptoeing around on eggshells. At Kate's parents it is all like “NO! YOU are the one that branched the conversation into bestiality when you said 'fuck the animals.'” So, needless to say, it is a billion times more comfortable to hang out with the parents of The Kate.

Tomorrow is my last day of work in California. I get twelve work days off, then resume in Portland. For those keeping score at home, that is about a 1,000 mile telecommute. How cool is THAT?! I guess I am a bit more important to work than I originally thought. Monday, I get to test out some of the remote conferencing software we have. Tomorrow, I get to take my computer home (as well as get a free lunch devoted to a combined CEO birthday any my [physically] leaving). Niftiness. The home that Kate and I are looking at is awesome. It has too many bathrooms (2-1/2, which it a bit much for two people as close as we are), but it looks like I will have an office all my own, as well as a really nifty drawing room with a big fireplace. We will also have room for parties and guests–ALERT TO ANYONE WHO IS THINKING OF VISITING!!!

Today, I got an iSight to help out with some of the video conferencing that we will end up doing. While not video conferencing, it will be a generic web cam, and I will be your average, everyday CAM WHORE! So, anyone reading this that wants to give me all their credit card numbers will have access. Or maybe it will just be at the place it has always been: http://certification.certivo.net/cam/camall/. I am very quickly discovering the magic (and intrusiveness) of Yahoo Messenger's webcam and iChat's webcam. Good times! …or something. ….yeah, so back to cleaning and packing.

We got a movie from Netflix the other day, “The Paper Chase,” and the only thing I can think of is the main professor guy in there (John Houseman) with a commercial from the 80's about “UNSATURATED FAAAT” with a piece of steak (or something like it) and a butcher knife. Unfortunately, I can find no reference on that great big thing known as The Internet, so I do not know for sure if it was that guy or somebody else….but I *SWEAR* it was the old guy from Silver Spoons, who is also the professor from The Paper Chase. I just can not find anything to back up (or even disprove) this hypothesis.

Our future potential “town house” in Portland so much kicks the ass of the “cottage house” we have here in the Costa Mesa/Newport area. It is about $10 less and about 100 square feet larger. That, and laid out a million times better than this little place.

Posted in: Dear Diary Movies Portland

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