Watch out for the face-biting old lady in the wheelchair

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Today is a sad day, indeed. We must all take a moment of silence to mourn for Hellfish. Hellfish, which started as a cool place to burn shredded documents and later became an ashtray has been living next to the front porch for a good number of years. Every once in awhile, he needs to be carried over to the trash can so that he can vomit forth soggy, smelly cigarette butts. This morning, after setting him down on the ground, I noticed that he was a little off-kilter. Picking him up again, I found that his lower jaw remained on the ground, separated from his tail and body.

I do not blame him or feel sad for his passing, though. It was just about his time to go, anyway, and everyone, including he, knew it. He was starting to get old, rickety, and smelly. No amount of cleaning or medical attention could have saved him. In fact, we were going to have to administer euthanasia on him in a few months, anyway.

5.1 Surround sound is cool. Lord of the Rings and The Fifth Element in surround is cool. The Yellow Submarine is shaping up to be pretty good in 5.1, as well. The Passion of Ayn Rand, on the other hand, is absolutely suck-tastic in 5.1 stereo, 2-speaker stereo, or through a scratchy transistor radio speaker. Helen Mirren is a good actress, the movie was crap. I know she was doing her best, but we had to turn it off after about ten minutes (even less than Meet the Feebles). I do not hold anything against her–if Kevin Spacey were to be Gilligan in a remake of Gilligan's Island, I would still think he were a good actor, regardless of how craptastic the movie ended up being. Along those same lines, if Robert De Niro were to play the part of Fearless Leader in a remake of The Rocky and Bullwinkle Show…oh, wait…

Posted in: Dear Diary Movies

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