Smarterer Child

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To riff off of Marm0t's SmarterChild conversation:

SmarterChild: Hi BriEnigma, I'm SmarterChild.
SmarterChild: That's cool. What's your profession?
BriEnigma: jizz mopper
SmarterChild: Whoa. I'm a little perplexed by your, um, choice of careers.
Please try again or type “skip” or “exit.”
BriEnigma: animal masturbator
SmarterChild: Animal masturbator, huh? That's cool.
What's your favorite hobby?
BriEnigma: masturbating animals
SmarterChild: C'mon, that's not cool. Try to be serious for a minute.
Please try again or type “skip” or “exit.”
BriEnigma: jerking animals
SmarterChild: Jerking animals? Cool!
What's your next favorite hobby?
BriEnigma: Rolling in the hay
SmarterChild: Jerking animals and rolling in the hay. Interesting!
Do you have a pet?
BriEnigma: Yes, a donkey.
SmarterChild: What kind of pet is it?
BriEnigma: A donkey. I just told you.
SmarterChild: Is your donkey a he or a she?
BriEnigma: A she.
SmarterChild: What's her name?
BriEnigma: Pizzlegobbler
SmarterChild: Pizzlegobbler the donkey! Great…
That's it! Thanks for letting me get to know you a little.

I forgot to mention that I got my magazine and flag on the Friday of that three-day holiday weekend (Labor Day? Memorial Day? I can never remember which one is which). I was going to bring it to Substitute's party and/or hang it up, but was talked out of both. We have a nice little-old-lady neighbor that “lived on the base” with her (now deceased) husband for many years that we did not want to risk offending. Similarly, we were not sure who may or may not be offended at Substitute's shindig.

Also, I ordered a home theater the other day from Amazon. (YES! Amazon!) Our DVD player has been getting progressively worse, rejecting disks that play just fine on other players. The stereo has been getting similarly bad. This is the same stereo that my parents gave me when I was about 13, so it is about fifteen years old. It is one of those cheap Yorx units that parents give their children when they want something a little bigger than a little boom box. It is made to LOOK like a component stereo, but it is just a single molded piece of plastic designed to look like lots of different pieces. It even has an integrated turntable in the top (it is from the days when CD players were rare and expensive and portable CD players were unheard of). I am not even sure it was meant to last more than about five years.

So, anyway, I have been looking to replace these two items. Consumer reports had a really good review of an RCA home theater. It is a barebones model–an integrated DVD player and stereo with several inputs, outputs, and a set of speakers. It is not designed for the audio/videophile, but just the basic family unit for someone who wants to get their feet wet in the home theater arena. This article was written in December, about an RCA home theater that was a big new thing at the time. Of course, now, 6 months later, RCA has come out with a bigger better model–so if you can find the old one in stock somewhere, it is half price. I got a good deal on a setup that was high-tech in December (and probably is still pretty decent and will be for another five or ten years) and Amazon gets to ship out one of the four they had left in stock. Everybody wins!

Posted in: Dear Diary

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