When does Cloud Nine run through some of the ninety-six defibulators of endurance?

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“I was starting to get worried. For a while there, I could not find my Sigue Sigue Sputnik.” -Me

“I am wearing my helmet while sitting on the toilet.” -random SMS message from

I might as well as jump on the bandwagon…

At work, we are evaluating a software tool for Java developers. We downloaded the program and entered our 10-day license code. Now, for ten days we have full access to the program. It allows us to see how much memory a program is using, exactly how and when it is being allocated, and even lets you walk through the contents of memory. It is the kind of program that really advanced Java developers tend to use…the kind of Java developers who are really good at picking apart a program–disassembling it, tweaking it, and putting it back together again. So if you are a big company that makes such a tool, it is generally a bad idea to (1) write the tool in Java, then (2) write all the licensing for the tool in Java, then (3) leave all the debugging symbols in the compiled class files. It takes an advanced developer–the kind of developer who is the target audience for this tool, the kind that is too lazy to brave the red tape of filling out a PO for $1,000 to purchase the tool–about seven minutes to decompile the application locate LicenseValidation.java, locate the public boolean checkForValidLicense() function, change it to always return true, then recompile the app. “Look, Ma! No license check!” Geez! And I thought that cracking games with 8088 assembly language decompilers back in the '80s was easy.

Within the last HOUR I have received one hundred ninety eight pieces of spam from various addresses at pleasuremailer.com. Fortunately, the combination of the spam filter on the mail server (SpamAssassin) and the spam filter in my mail program (Mail.app) filtered them all out. Some of them have the craziest subject lines. They looked like words vomited forth from a Markov Chain generator. I was going to post a few of them, but for the life of me could not find a way to export messages in the Apple's Mail.app. I started to get a little pissed off. “Okay, am I now stuck using this mail application forever? Is there no way to switch to another if I wanted to? Grrrr…” I thought I might hack the mailbox file format and extract a few of the subject lines–but imagine my surprise when I discovered they were in the plain ol' Unix mailbox format, complete with lockfiles (but with the addition of a binary index file to make access a little bit faster). So now, I can bring you the crazy subject lines… SPAM ME UP, SCOTTY!


today, Greece ecstatically smokes!
if you are tan, then the cheese of slaying hastily crawls!
why does she destroy my stupidly chewing circles?
can you believe that Callahan somewhat horrifically pokes them?
alas, Homer's nasty silver farms are silver.
Xanadu very furiously looks through one stupidly aching wife atop a Filipino go cart!
Malibu Dream House is hastily knocking down some of the sixty-one popadums of healing!
why do Serbo-Croatian borschts stretch?
does a translucent white go cart twirl? As if.
I very quickly die!
can you believe that they gleefully kill Stonehenge?
is it killing? No!
when do very very randomly basking forests change my meaningfully glowing cadillac?
could it be that the couscous of destruction is silver? Could be…
Hey, you! You should mean slowly to worry about Cupples Hall!
can you believe that the sweater of death is colorless?
in order to sit, a merciless chocolate bar somewhat quickly looks at the grape of happiness!
in order to writhe, some Norwegian limes furiously kill her Australian amulet! he is ancient! when does the buoy of disease insult her enormous red forklifts?
while writhing, Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart really quickly quits really colorlessly delivering Heinlein's really gleefully basking river. soon, they really ecstatically ponder!
why does Speed Racer lust after an amazingly whimpering great uncle?
a big dark maroon rocking chair really randomly undulates!
does Mister Ed smile? Yeah, right.
Hey, you! think of being green!
if a xenophobic walrus is being French, then they are juicy.
is it killing? No!
Listen to me! You should change his distraught brown notebooks!
if horrid helicopters seem to be very horribly wanting to appear to be Nepalese, then some Japanese felonies ecstatically season somewhat eagerly sitting space stations.
while smoking, a very ruthlessly whimpering bicycle seems to be seeming to be Asian.
Listen to me! think of quickly delivering the thoughtlessly stretching go cart!
in order to smile, it is randomly whispering to your greasy dark colorless carpet, “effeminate pale emerald black holes appear to be Yiddish” .
Yo! You should join a Cantonese farm! if the potato of despair appears to be Filipino, then Greece is eagerly craving my tangible mint!
Hey, you! You should fall into disturbed cyan stews!
Georgia somewhat mildly crawls.
You must bask!
while limping, my comic books and my gateways are ashen.
if the hop seems to be greasy, then they eagerly twirl!
the gamma ray of ugliness slowly tellsthat some sadly killing bridges stupidly think of seeming to be Rumanian!
Doctor Who appears to be furiously smoking!
are my stupidly limping stupidities living? Nope.
his really really quickly limping respect in the Abyss amazingly tries somewhat sadly to knead me!
Hey, you! think of being green!
is he growling? Yeah, right.
if Stonehenge really eerily sits, then Bolivia very very fearlessly grows!
they eerily unfold him!
if their topology and one forest amazingly hire Bo Derek, then some French stereos from within their torrential dark blonde forest appear to be brunette!
while failing, Zimbabwe horribly giggles.
did you know that Hades lamely conceptualizes us?
if Las Vegas randomly kills, then Moses' ancient dark colorless cheese hastily growls!
meaningfully, you appear to be being French.
does Heinlein poke everything but our really stupidly moping flood? I don't think so.
do Snoopy's very very brutally chewing pharmacies smoke? Not!
he appears to be Lithuanian.
Stonehenge appears to be appearing to be Caucasian!
if he horribly testifiesthat her lamely writing gas stations are very mildly living, then it very very ecstatically attempts to be Yiddish.
in order to chew, my randomly killing affair through Alpha Centauri appears to be somewhat ruthlessly stopping being Korean. why does Pluto writhe?
why do Australian earrings live?
Yo! You should whisperthat your ailing train hastily wants very sadly to mope!
Hey, you! bellowthat slowly undulating hesitations appear to be quickly surpassing very ruthlessly basking ramens!
are the erstwhile colorless cities living? Could be…
the very hastily crawling gas station that lamely orders us really colorlessly undulates!
when do we season your poor forest?
in order to giggle, he somewhat testily whimpers.
Hey, you! You should grow!
Listen to me! You should start sadly smiling!
when does Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart lose?
You should poke it!
fearlessly playing vehicles really amazingly justify everything but the eerily pondering year!
if they very ruthlessly giggle, then her ecstatically stretching bicycle who very very eagerly falls randomly kills! in order to kill, their very eerily playing moons very mildly smoke.
Listen to me! You should die!
unusual borschts very hastily ride in our maroon spaceships! while moping, he eagerly smiles! Hey, you! deliver their very brutally losing bookstore!
the six soups of death horrifically find colorfully growing gamma rays.
does a translucent white go cart twirl? As if.
You should yawn!
when does her Estonian tent atop the strange yellow mopeds shave?
if the cleaver of destruction randomly knocks over some light indigo butchers, then it appears to be being icky.
today, the Abyss eagerly cries”translucent silver citadels are nasty”:!
Hey, you! You must say, “he fearfully falls into Hell” !
does Bolivia lust after everything but German intelligences? In your wildest dreams…
Hey, you! whimper!
if his ecstatically sleeping vet horribly stops testily thinking of purposefully limping, then our rasping circle that really testily begins furiously knocking over Kissinger quickly smiles.
mildly, a bushel of successful beers from lame translucent violet schooners very very gleefully fail to be Canadian!
You must flail at rasping blue hesitations!
if Death Valley is Yiddish, then we somewhat eagerly unfold my iguana and a fire!
Spock really stupidly lives!
a blind forklift who testily whispers, “Hobbes quickly starts really really hastily tasting German wives” is very amazingly giggling!
Yo! You must whimper!
could it be that a hoard of very very furiously smoking contests furiously lose? Not.
Hey, you! You should yawn!
are bizarrely failing volcanoes which amazingly yearn stupidly to want meaningfully to sleep smoking? No!
does the photograph of leprosy catch up with really brutally falling darknesses? No.
does Frodo fall into you? Yeah, right.
eagerly, billions and billions of really amazingly shaving garbage trucks very horribly ride in very very amazingly yawning tractors.
is he playing? No.
does the lime of mother Summoning whimper? Uh, huh.
slowly, some vast jeeps somewhat horribly travel from Hades to the unusual hazel gateway!
slowly, some vast jeeps somewhat horribly travel from Hades to the unusual hazel gateway!
mildly, the chocolate bar of death slowly pukes on everything but fearlessly falling cops.
while giggling, Alpha Centauri eerily loses.
while giggling, very very stupidly twirling unicycles seem to be very stupidly starting somewhat brutally to poke him.
why does one brutally basking grape run away from Hades?
alas, you furiously think of appearing to be white.
in order to shave, Frodo sadly whispersthat Gorto seems to be very mildly digesting his nasty gumdrop! alas, grandmother's house seems to be silver!
if he eerily knocks down somewhat mildly limping airplanes, then Oedipus is suburban!
if Oakland stupidly knocks over her, then some Australian circles are American!
if quickly smoking changelings very eerily chant”Knuth really stupidly ponders”:, then slowly writing ideas somewhat bizarrely fail!
could it be that our mutant emerald cars slowly fail really really mildly to whimper”the erstwhile widow ruthlessly takes over his zany pain”:? I don't think so!
could it be that our mutant emerald cars slowly fail really really mildly to whimper”the erstwhile widow ruthlessly takes over his zany pain”:? I don't think so!
why does the tuxedo of man Summoning live?
You should poke it!
when does Cloud Nine run through some of the ninety-six defibulators of endurance?
if ruthlessly writhing holes very very furiously notethat the Pacific Ocean very very gleefully yearns very eerily to write, then Ludwig van Beethoven lamely flails at Planet Zero!
is she growing? As if. a pale hazel pancake appears to be very very stupidly desiring really sadly to admire my wicked cafe!
if 111,741 somewhat ecstatically basking bracelets ecstatically kick everything but horrid despairs, then some eagerly smiling whoopie cushions quickly quit being Caucasian!
while failing, Zimbabwe horribly giggles.
if seventeen elastic translucent ashen choirs brutally hire grandmother's house, then it really really hastily catches everything but her horribly growling forklifts.
if her ailing barns very very furiously lament to your weird pancakethat Moses sadly conceptualizes the carefully aching bicycle, then very very eerily moping angles somewhat sadly twirl!
I mildly chew.
could it be that a very brutally living hat horrifically pukes on your stupidly giggling light bulb? Uh, huh!
if our American dwarves really brutally create everything but wretched azure spheres, then some dark blue limes very very randomly begin somewhat quickly riding in their very sadly giggling moped.
You should twirl!
Listen to me! You must digest my gleefully basking beer! Yo! You must mope!
Listen to me! You should fail really amazingly to grow!
Yo! puke on very very slowly whimpering airplanes!
Hey, you! You should grow!
if light magenta black holes are very slowly destroying Norway, then Buck Roger's sadly yawning chocolate bar on top of the German photograph appears to be Estonian!
Listen to me! You should need sadly to quit being beautiful!
can you believe that the sober beige spaceship atop the Bolivian rental cars seems to be lame?
is she growling? Doubtful!
if he is very very eerily mesmerizing his very amazingly smiling iguana, then Filipino friends really really mildly sleep!
mildly, a bushel of successful beers from lame translucent violet schooners very very gleefully fail to be Canadian!
why does she giggle?
we very eagerly wish to appear to be golden!
brutally, we appear to be canonical.
soon, she appears to be very hastily tasting you.
in order to fail, some blonde cookies seem to be sadly growing.
why does Knuth's translucent emerald schooner next to my meek azure scarf lose?
does she disarm everything but suburban magenta fish? Could be…
if they eerily yell at her very very bizarrely playing parodythat Delta Epsilon stupidly disarms them, then his Tanzanian light sabre appears to be British.
it is Rumanian. if a white go cart somewhat quickly catches up with Hades, then he appears to be being Polish!
is she smoking? Nope! today, Speed Racer is seeming to be brown!
did you know that my bridge and their cafes somewhat horrifically devour my randomly writing jelly bean?
Hey, you! whimper!
why does she die?
if she ecstatically kills everything but the teal pharmacies, then he really lamely lives.
if translucent golden cities very ecstatically quit being French, then they really really sadly waste their bizarrely growing car above one Asian popadum.
Hey, you! You should yawn!
do our plaid grapefruits swallow them? No!
while shaving, we seem to be Cantonese. in order to fail, British loves are really horrifically wishing eerily to catch Georgia! did you know that Saturn seems to be brunette?
if Sarah somewhat quickly swallows an eagerly glowing action figure, then the Invisible Man horribly smiles.
are Yiddish intelligences smiling? Could be…
Yo! You should stop really really fearfully wishing to be soft!
the Pacific Ocean is mauve!
are they sitting? As if.
alas, she is torrential! You should undulate! Hey, you! ride in Filipino helicopters!
could it be that the couscous of destruction is silver? Could be…
is Las Vegas losing? Could be…
Hey, you! You should grow!
he testily fails somewhat slowly to stop ruthlessly passing over everything but blind mauve warnings!
does the Invisible Man create Buck Roger's brunette popadum next to their cool purple tortilla? Yeah, right.
if he really really brutally screams at the hastily falling knight”she randomly fails”:, then quickly falling grass eerily order your vicious dark ecru hovel.
when does Cloud Nine run through some of the ninety-six defibulators of endurance?
today, eagerly shaving cheeses very lamely think of very very gleefully driving the brutally undulating cadillac.
can you believe that I appear to be lively? is it true that Yiddish despairs slowly chew? I don't think so!
Doctor Who appears to be furiously smoking!
can you believe that she is appearing to be vague?
in order to shave, Frodo sadly whispersthat Gorto seems to be very mildly digesting his nasty gumdrop! alas, grandmother's house seems to be silver!
you are being mighty.
does he giggle? In your wildest dreams…
You must drive our purple mopeds!
naughty volcanoes are green!
mildly, the chocolate bar of death slowly pukes on everything but fearlessly falling cops.
are one hundred and nine eagerly limping buoys sitting? No way!
if they appear to be really really eagerly admiring your azure potato, then the Sandman is appearing to be Estonian.
did you know that their very very fearlessly stretching ogre eagerly says to her ailing gamma raythat zealous gray farms that are somewhat quickly kicking through Ludwig van Beethoven are ashen?
they really really eerily think of appearing to be silver. alas, her Australian iguanas are seeming to be Yiddish.
Yo! think of very very randomly destroying everything but lots of Korean forests!
very randomly giggling tortillas appear to be somewhat stupidly conceptualizing Oakland!
today, light tan cars that seem to be smoked very slowly flail at one thousand nineteen thoughtlessly living scarves!
you are being mighty.
while limping, silly VCRs very very gleefully yawn!
in order to twirl, big preventions horrifically yawn!
mildly, the chocolate bar of death slowly pukes on everything but fearlessly falling cops.
the Pacific Ocean is mauve!
is our colorlessly chewing collie of a passel of zealous lemurs shaving? No way.
if effeminate umbrellas are Polish, then Sarah's razors and their chicken marengoes horrifically start very eerily to start testily running through a silver moped of Polish babes.
while writhing, Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart really quickly quits really colorlessly delivering Heinlein's really gleefully basking river. soon, they really ecstatically ponder!
Hey, you! You should yearn to seem to be sad!
You must surpass your airplanes and my mints!
Listen to me! sit!
today, light tan cars that seem to be smoked very slowly flail at one thousand nineteen thoughtlessly living scarves!
could it be that the couscous of destruction is silver? Could be…
Hey, you! You must swallow the keyboard of persuasion!
while growing, wretched hovels seem to be sadly falling.
could it be that her sadly growing generals very very mildly ponder? As if! his Serbo-Croatian fathers who meaninglessly flatten a carelessly basking couscous very hastily smoke.

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