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If I were an avid reader of horoscopes, I fear my horoscope for today would read something like “don’t even fucking THINK of getting out of bed today, Mister!” So I get out of bed today with the thought of warm coffee, a book, and old-time jazz. Step one is to turn on the music (streaming jazz from Netscape Radio kicks some major booty, by the way). I sit at the computer, click the icon, and stand up to go retrieve some coffee. The thing I did not realize until the shooting pain hit my brain was that I stood up onto a box of upright screwdriver bits. Ouch. Sock hop to the bathroom. So that foot gets disinfected and bandaged. Next step: pour some coffee from the coffee maker. Of course, I do not realize there is a minefield of glass shards in the kitchen. (I guess a glass got broken last night after I went to bed and was not completely cleaned up.) Hop back into the bathroom and bandage the OTHER foot this time. Then it is time to go back into the kitchen and mop up the blood and sweep up the glass. I spent the whole day walking gently on my feet. Have you ever tried walking around on the ball of one foot and the heel of the other? Try it right now. Get up out of your computer chair and try it. Do you feel like a complete tard now? Fortunately for you, that was only a few seconds confined to the comfort of your own home.

I learned something on NPR this morning. Bologna and hot dogs are the same thing, only different diameters. The sausages are a conglomeration of all the meats and flavors Americans like–the lowest common denominator. They are the food equivalent of the sit-com.

I also learned that corn farmers, to get a little extra $cash$ will often times convert their rows of corn to double as a maze. They charge admission and you try to find your way to the exit. If you become hopelessly lost, you raise a flag you were given at the start so that someone can come in and retrieve you. Feel free to insert your own maze/maize pun here.

I find it funny that the US is trying to ignore the potential nuclear threat in North Korea and trying to focus on the lower potential nuclear threat of Iraq. I wonder how things would change if they suddenly discovered oil reserves in Korea?

So now, I have returned from the store and did a little kitchen work. I have some pumpkins in the oven on one side of the kitchen and some sushi rice in the fuzzy-logic rice cooker on the other side of the kitchen. Sushi for dinner (or at least Nigiri, since I ran out of fresh seaweed paper), and pumpkin pie for dessert! Yeay! Throw some pumpkin ale into the mix, and you are talking about a tasty evening! I do have to say, though, that the little kid in me was proclaiming all sorts of sacrilege for taking a knife to a pumpkin and chipping it into wedges instead of making it into a jack-o-lantern. I almost could not do it, it felt so wrong. Pumpkins are meant to be made into jack-o-lanterns. Pumpkin pies come from Marie Calendar’s or cans. But then , I thought of the taste of the pie and how the whole house will smell yummy and was able to proceed with the pumpkin sacrifice.

Posted in: Dear Diary

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