“Dental Ass-Reaming In Your Favor!”

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Several bits of interest today, none of which have anything to do with George W., the UN, Afganistan, Iraq, or nuclear weaponry.

I went to the dentist today. I feel like I pulled the Monopoly card: “Conservative dental estimate in your favor, pay only $500.” While many people would be upset at giving up $500 of their hard-earned money, if you have the $1100 from the estimate sitting in your checking account the remaining $600 is called “transfer to savings.” While my $10K estimate to fix everything in my head (well, everything in my mouth, at any rate) is not not quite as nasty as reggiT's $12K, it still stings. It is nice to hear “oopsies! We over-estimated.”

The dentist fixed up a tooth that had all but broken out–about a quarter of the actual above-gumline tooth is left, the rest is bondo and needs a crown. He also wrenched* out one of the “temporary” crowns I got when I was a kid and never actually got replaced with permanent ones. He fixed up all the crap under the crown, put another temporary on (one that actually looks like a tooth and not like a mis-fitting little metal plumbing end-cap that crap can creep up under and inside). In a few weeks, the final crown “comes back from the lab” and gets installed. Since there is a bit of a gap between the temporary crown and the tooth (it is not really flush with the tooth), gunk can get up between the tooth and the crown. Fortunately, for this one, that was not the case, so no griding and buildup was needed. One temporary crown down, three to go.

* “wrenched” is not quite the proper verb-like-thing to place here. It was more like a loud nasty bone-saw, only shrunk down to the size of a small tattoo gun. It was very loud and released all sorts of nasty burnt-things smells.

Another important event of the day is that I got my package of Sea-Monkey supplies! I am a little upset that the wristwatch just barely fits my slender 5'11″ 120lb wrist. Regardless, this watch is the coolest invention EV-AR! It is a real working digital watch with a removable plastic dome over the face of the watch. The dome can be filled with water and two adult sea monkeys, with the help of the “Aquatic Leash” (a little plastic turkey baster). I cannot wait until my sea-monkeys grow up big and strong enough to ride in the watch.

Wait…what kind of sick demented individual would market brine shrimp (or, at least, creatures from the same genus) as a TOY??!!?! Oh well, I still like 'em.

I also got a sea monkey farm for home (the Mars Colony) and some Sea Diamonds for them to surf upon. Maybe I can use the wristwatch to help the ones at work defect to the tank at home, or vice versa. I hope I am enough of a benevolent god-like giant-head to these creatures that there is no need for defection.

Now, I come to the realization that I live in a house that is not a strong follower of modern chemical medicine. Those “…” above indicate about a 20 minute span searching for some sort of over-the-counter pain killer that is not red wine or vodka (which normally work wonders for mouth pain). In my searching, I discovered an Ibuprofen prescription (1000mg) that was prescribed, unused, and expired. I also discovered three untouched prescriptions (well, I think I used two pills from one of the prescriptions at one point in time)–two bottles of which were also expired. There were also several bottles of antibiotics, in various stages off fullness and expiration. Finally, I located a bottle of Advil in the kitchen (why was it there? I do not know!). The left side of my mouth feels like I was chewing on gum that had its flavor crystals replaced with pointy shards of leaded crystal. “The medication is wearing off, gonna hurt not a little, a lot…”

Hopefully, I can fill the sea-monkey tank with 300cc's of distilled water before I go crazy with ouchiness. “All work and no play makes Homer …something…something….” “Go crazy?” “Don't mind if I do!”

Posted in: Dear Diary

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