Sugar and Spice and Curried Rice

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Today has been just one big long trippy surreal dream. Where to start? We had our big company lunch meeting today, with company supplied pizza, salad, and drinks. I scarfed down my allotted single thin slice of pizza and small bottles of water before the meeting even started. The meeting finally started–“blah, blah, blah, rah company!” Partway though, somebody ran in asking if anyone had medical skills. An employee out in the hall was having a seizure. We did not let that stop the meeting, though. We were then shown a crazy Flash presentation with touching music and famous quotes and such. It was really weird to be reading Bradbury say we need to jump off a cliff (and build wings on the way down) while someone was floundering in the other room. Finally, the presentation was over and more pizza (which was ordered during the presentation) came. We all had one additional pencil-thin slice of pizza. Because this was not enough for lunch, we walked to the little plaza that houses the local Diedrich's, where there was a lady drinking beer from a paper coffee cup. Brandon now has four monitors hooked up to his computer. He needs two desks to hold the monitors and a really big mouse pad to allow the mouse to travel from the extreme left monitor to the extreme right. “Dessicant” is the name of the stuff in the packets that say “Do Not Eat” that come packed with dried things. The ones in the dry roasted seaweed also say “do not make wet,” “do not open,” and “do not touch child a allow.” I of course, opened them and dumped them in water. I was expecting a violent reaction, but did not even get a fizzle. Microsoft's XML libraries lick my chode–they end up choking on simple stuff like DTDs, DOCTYPEs, and namespaces! Give me the Apache XML libraries any day. The office is somehow like a whaling ship. The old president stands on the bow, points at a whale, and we gear up to kill it. Then before we get there, she points to another whale. I thought whaling is illegal in most countries. We have a contract with the Office of Homeland Security to create training courses for software to track foreign exchange students. Does it seem, to anyone else, to be too little too late to start tracking if foreigners are enrolling in liberal colleges and flight schools and such. Heaven forbid some crazed terrorist ends up graduating from the University of Phoenix business management school! They might purchase a 7-11 franchise and hide a tactical nuke in the Pac-Man game, rigged to explode when some innocent teen rolls their score past 99,9999. Well, at least I serve as a sarcastic buffer between BC's sarcastic remarks and QA. The CEO pretty much openly slammed the QA department today. I think he realized what he had said, then back-peddled a little bit and turned it into a joke. He also very conveniently did not answer whether there would be layoffs, even though we are expecting a large number of the “experts” to get laid off (when they came out of a strategy meeting the other day, BC said they all looked as if someone told them the world's supply of curry had dried up). Well, I am headed off to eat some curry, I think. Tonight sounds like a Laxami's night.

Posted in: Work

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