American Beauty Guy

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So it turns out that driving an automobile on low-pressure tires is just as funky as riding a motorcycle or bicycle with low pressure tires. The only difference is that with the cycles, you can look down at the tire when idling and say “hey, that’s looking a little low,” whereas in a car, it is more like “why is the car behaving like this? Are the tires low? Are the brake pads going? Is the alignment or balancing off?” You never really get to look at the tires until you are out of the driving situation, at which point you do not always remember to look at the tires.

So, as I pull up the driveway/alley that leads to the little cottage I call home, American Beauty Guy was standing in his doorway wearing nothing but a wool sweater, short shorts, and wool leg warmers. Wait! That’s not wool! That is his own HAIR! Ewwww…. He said something to me that I am sure was supposed to be witty or encouraging or something. Probably something about how we should hang out because he is free of his wife, or something about how hot the nymphos are (all one of them–he obviously does not grasp that fact that the same person in different clothing is not multiple people) that are always walking back to my house, or insinuating that the only way a long-hair like me can have a nice car and nice stuff and run around wearing plenty of old leather is by dealing drugs to middle-agers like him.

I was going to hyperlink the phrase “American Beauty Guy” to one or more entries about him, but in searching through my back-entries it looks like there is, unbelievably, not a single entry about him!

In other news, I got a free-standing fan yesterday for Meta_Kate and I. It has the typical stuff: three fan speeds and oscillation (i.e. it rotates back-and-forth). It also has a thermostat, a sleep timer, a “natural” mode that randomly varies the speed so it is more like a breeze, and a REMOTE CONTROL! The fan has a REMOTE! That has actually worked out pretty good. She can reach the controls because it is on her side of the bed, and I have the remote so I do not accidentally plant an elbow or knee in her while trying to reach the controls. The sleep mode works pretty well too. The room stays cool at night and is not sub-arctic temperatures in the morning.

Posted in: Dear Diary

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