I get to move my cubicle again

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There was an all-company meeting today in which we got to meet someone we have never seen before, our new CEO. He gave a speech out of the “Introduction to CEO: 101” book. “Hello [sir or madam], I’m [insert your name]. I’m so happy to be here at [insert company name] today.” There will be a lot of org chart changes at the top that will trickle down to the rest of us. Nobody is allowed to wear a tie anymore (which effects all of about four people). There will be company-sponsored Friday pizza-and-salad lunches to let everyone know, face to face, what is going on in the company (instead of a dumb newsletter that Marketing spends a week writing and nobody reads).

Picture this: an old wooden ship in the middle of the ocean that runs into an iceberg. There is a broken floating plank with ten rats on it, but it is slowly becoming soggy enough that it will only be able to hold six of those ten rats. Which ones stay? Which ones drown? Which ones say, “fuck this, I’m shopping my resume around Monster?”

In other work-related news, I get to move my cubicle AGAIN. GOOD TIMES!

Posted in: Dear Diary Work

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