Prawns

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Did I ever mention how much I hate pawns? No? Well, I hate pawns.

Not only are they mostly useless pieces on the chess board that don’t do much of anything interesting (although they are pretty good at blocking), they really suck when you are Alice and up against some.

Wait, let me rewind a bit. American McGee’s Alice is a kick-ass game with a kick-ass soundtrack. First off–soundtrack. Chris Vrenna. You know the original Nine Inch Nails? Yeah. That guy. Secondly–kickass game! The whole thing takes place in the head of a fucked up little girl. She really loves the book Alice in Wonderland. She has a cat. She has a ragged little bunny dolly. She goes to sleep reading. The cat knocks over the oil lamp (mind you, this is the late 1800’s). It breaks, spills over to the fireplace, and starts to burn the house down. Alice wakes up, goes to help her mommy and daddy, but can’t, and then falls over burning. Alice gets to see mommy and daddy die. Alice is covered in burns that take nearly a year to heal. Alice is in an archaic mental institution. She is more or less in a waking coma, not taking in anything around her. The doctors put leeches on her. They use this new-fangled electricity stuff to administer shock therapy. So….the whole game takes place in her head, in a fucked up version of Wonderland, while messed up things go on in the outside world. So, the pawns? Yeah. You can’t kill them. They move around and attack you, doing massive amounts of damage, but you can’t do anything about it other than avoid them.

Posted in: Dear Diary Games

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