Dear Space Pen,

Although I love you dearly, I believe it is time for us to start see­ing oth­ers.  You have a beau­ti­ful body, which is what ini­tially attracted me to you.  Your com­pact, sleek form that elon­gates into a full-sized pen is absolutely amaz­ing.  As the ini­tial lust for your form-factor is wear­ing off, I am com­ing to the real­iza­tion that it is the stuff on the inside that really counts.  This is, unfor­tu­nately, your ugly side.  Even though you have a fancy pressurized-gas ink car­tridge that can write upside-down, under water, through but­ter, or in zero grav­ity, at your heart you are truly just another ball­point pen, with all of the bag­gage that goes along with that.  I have very lit­tle need to be writ­ing while dan­gling upside-down from a cliff or while snor­kel­ing.  I have every need to write in smooth, con­sis­tent, dark strokes.  At this, you fail.  Your ink comes out unevenly.  Recently, you have taken to ini­tially releas­ing large gobs of ink before being able to write.  Not only are these drips of ink unsightly, they are sticky and stain hands, pock­ets, and other papers.

I have tried my best to make things work.  I tried chang­ing my writ­ing style to bet­ter account for your uneven lines.  I tried search­ing far and wide for a roller­ball or gel ink car­tridge that fits your body.  I even inves­ti­gated mod­i­fy­ing ink car­tridges for other pens to fit you.  In the end, though, noth­ing worked and all I am left with is a beau­ti­ful pen and inkstained fingers.

Very soon, a Cross Ion tele­scop­ing pen will arrive.  I do not want you to be fear­ful or resent­ful.  I just want you to under­stand that the Cross will pro­vide more of what I need.

Sin­cerely,

Brian

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Tagged as: 3x5, comparisons, cross, crossion, hipsterpda, indexcards, ion, pens, spacepen