I thought he was going to pull a hookah out of his ass”

by Brian Enigma on February 13, 2004 6:37am

in Dear Diary

Penn & Teller's “Bull­shit” is one of the coolest series I have seen in a long time.  I am not sure I could describe it, so maybe I will let Penn…

This is Bull­shit!  That's the name of the show.  We're going to hunt down as many pur­vey­ors of bull­shit as we can.  Sure, we lie, cheat, and swin­dle.  We've been known to deal in a bit of bull­shit our­selves, so some of you may ask, “why pee on some­one else's parade?”  One impor­tant dif­fer­ence: we tell you we're lying.  You'll notice more obscen­ity than we usu­ally use.  That's not just because it's on Show­time and we want to get some atten­tion.  It's also a legal mat­ter.  If one calls peo­ple liars and quacks, one can be sued and loose a lot of one's money.  But, moth­er­fuck­ers and ass­holes, it's pretty safe.  If we said it was all scams, we could also be in trou­ble, but BULLSHIT (oddly) is safe.  So, for­get all the bull­shit lan­guage.  We're try­ing to talk about the truth with­out spend­ing the rest of our lives in court because of liti­gious motherfuckers.

It's basi­cally a doc­u­men­tary that debunks a lot of para­nor­mal quack­ery out there.  Per­son­ally, I think they under­es­ti­mate the power of the placebo effect with reflex­ol­ogy, but that's just me.  I have the entire first sea­son (half of it on DVD now), and can't wait until it gets released on DVD in March!  Big­time woot! 

Ebenezer got his first bath (in this home) today.  Con­sid­er­ing he has got­ten a bath a week since he was born, The Pre­cious could learn some­thing from him.  The lady I got him from makes soap, some spe­cially for­mu­lated for Sph­ynx, made of olive oil and such.  He seems to like it, and I'm fine with the smell.  Speak­ing of smell, the first cou­ple of days here must have been stress­ful (read: sweaty and stinky and smelly) for him.  Him and The Pre­cious are (NOW!) fine in the same room and even enjoy play­ing, but are not so great with cud­dling.  The Pre­cious still sleeps in the crook of me knee and Ebenezer had decided to sleep at the fur­thest pos­si­ble point from her that is still warm: my head.  Some­times he wraps him­self around my skull, on the pil­low, like a hat.  This is no big deal.  Some­times he wants to sleep on my face or across my neck (wind­pipe!).  This is not so great, party for rea­sons of suf­fo­ca­tion, and partly for rea­sons of smelli­ness (which goes back to suf­fo­ca­tion).  As I said, his first few days here were rather stress­ful.  Nor­mally fur picks up that kind of sweat and tension…

Red beans & rice doesn't work so well when you have a rice maker with fuzzy logic chips that only makes sticky Japan­ese rice.  The beans, veg­gies, haben­ero, jalapenos, and such worked out really well.  They just don't work so well with the rice.

I drove over the 45th par­al­lel twice on Sat­ur­day.  Not that that says anything.

Does any­one know what hap­pened to Owl?  I know that Hell­fish got thrown away because he cracked.  I remem­ber Owl being given away to some­one, but I'm not 100% sure about that.…he may have got­ten thrown away because of too many scary spi­ders.  I swear I remem­ber giv­ing it to some­one (Odradak?), but I can't seem to remem­ber who, and Friendly Ban­dit was ask­ing me this evening.

I think my mouth is on fire.  Tabasco Haben­ero sauce is nice, but I might have used half the bottle.

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